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I was triggered by cake…

My team surrounded me and I was fully triggered.

We were 20 people in a warehouse, and I was working at my laptop.

One of my teammates tapped me on the shoulder to come to the kitchen.

As I walked over, I stopped dead in my tracks.


************Everyone was gathered looking at me.************


My brain immediately went to the worst. They are going to oust me from my company! Gang up on me!

Instead, they parted to show me a cake with the company logo on it.

It was our work anniversary πŸ™‚

So…have you ever have that moment when your past becomes present at work? Clearly I have.

I was bullied as a kid, and sometimes it shows up in weird ways, like this incident.

But I took those lessons and now I work with founders with a varied set of triggers on how to step up to the leadership plate while managing their own inner landscape.

What I learned from this event was that my light side (bringing people together) had a dark side (fear of being excluded).

  1. I had to accept myself: There was a young part in me that feared the worst. We all have these younger, hurt parts that rise to the surface when we least expect them to.
  2. I had to self-soothe: It takes a great deal of compassion and self-parenting to dive in and offer love to the part that seems immature and stuck in the past. But that’s exactly what these triggered parts need: your attention and love.
  3. No one is perfect: Every single leader has their own secret wounds and history because we are human. What separates the good from the bad is how they work with them.

Empowerment through Insight

Understanding the dual nature of traits opens doors to empowerment.

Embrace the light they bring, while acknowledging and overcoming their shadowy aspects.

Remember: traits aren’t static. They evolve as we accept them, offer them our attention, and grow beyond their limitations.


I coach leaders on preventing burnout, management, goal-setting, and all the challenges startups throw at you.

If I can be helpful on your leadership path with, please message me or book a consult.

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